If you believed your lady was going to buy you some old spice just because she spent the last two weeks watching old spice commercials on youtube, ymbs.

Woohoo I have followers. They’re all trying to sell viagra or dating services but that’s normal right?

If you tell your wife about the mysterious dissappearing turd in the toilet, ymbs.

If you have left a baby on the changing table while retrieving a new diaper from the next room, ymbs.

If you think your wife will give you credit for helping out in the kitchen just because you loaded the dishwasher, ymbs.

If you have ever volunteered to work overtime without realizing it is your wife’s birthday (anniversary), ymbs.

If you gave up novels for letters, then letters for email, then email for facebook, then facebook for twitter and now you have eye strain from reading tweets, ymbs.

If you have ever gotten a great discount by paying for a year’s membership in advance, during a going out of business sale, ymbs.

If you have ever bought a current year calendar in November, ymbs.

If you have ever paid a $2 convenience fee so you can buy something you didn’t need with a credit card instead of cash, ymbs.

If you have ever kept your athletic cup in the refrigerator, ymbs.

If you have ever worn boxers on the day of your vasectomy, ymbs.

If you have ever gotten out of your car to try to get a red light sensor to notice you, ymbs.

If you have ever been arrested for reading too slowly, ymbs.

If your karate instructor asks you to go get your cup and you come back with coffee, ymbs.